


Literal Interpretation

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Series: Tales from the Yellow Yard [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fictional Religion & Theology, Friendship, Gen, God Tier, Pesterlog, Prompt Fic, SBURB/SGRUB, Teasing, Yellow Yard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has some questions about the repercussions of going God Tier. Davesprite and Jade are less than helpful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Literal Interpretation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asuka Kureru (Askerian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/gifts).



> This ficlet was written for [Asuka](http://asukaskerian.tumblr.com) in response to the prompt: _Jade, John, Davesprite, god worship_. The obvious interpretation would be porn, but alas, porn is not my forte! I went with the literal interpretation instead. (Hence the title. *wry*)

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

EB: hey dave sprite?   
TG: yeah what   
EB: this is kind of a weird question and i just realized i have no idea how to lead in to it so the question itself will make any sense, bluh.  
EB: hmm. you go to lohac sometimes right?   
TG: no   
EB: oh.  
EB: why not?   
TG: reasons   
EB: wow that was very enlightening! i feel so enlightened.   
TG: cool for you look is this conversation going anywhere or can i get back to jamming with jade  
TG: we had a groove going and i can feel it slipping away with every blue word that waffles across my shades  
TG: all that music drowned in a sea of expansive egbertian evasions   
EB: it's going somewhere!  
EB: but like i said, i'm not sure how to lead in to the actual question.   
TG: heres a thought why not just ASK the question  
TG: explanations can come after if needed   
EB: fine, whatever.  
EB: do your consorts  
EB: (or dave's consorts, i guess)  
EB: treat you kind of... weirdly?   
TG: define weird   
EB: ...  
EB: this is going to sound so egotistical that i can hear rose mocking me from another universe.  
EB: but fine, i'll stop waffling.  
EB: do they treat you like a god?   
TG: no   
EB: huh. really?   
TG: really  
TG: whod worship leftover scraps man that would be a dumb religion  
TG: they talk about alpha dave that way though which is what youre really asking  
TG: and jades iguanas think shes straight up the goddess of spring or some shit like that  
TG: melted all the snow and brought back the green when she kindled the forge  
TG: they have hymns and altars and everything  
TG: and speaking as a piece of game mechanics i can promise you theyre not faking and this is perfectly normal for sburb  
TG: god tier equals god  
TG: its right there in the fuckin name this is not rocket science   
EB: i am so uncomfortable with this.   
TG: yeah well learn to deal  
TG: hey jades been reading over my shoulder and she wants to talk to you   
EB: i don't WANT to deal! i want it to go away!   
TG: she says and i quote  
TG: john stop bugging davesprite about this its really awkward for some reasons i cant tell you because theyre not my secrets and other reasons that should be obvious if you take a minute to think you doofus   
EB: hey!   
TG: i will talk to you later if youre still freaking out  
TG: because being a god is way more responsibility than i want and i bet if that freaks me out it must freak you out even more  
TG: but for now come over and play music with us  
TG: you will feel better and also listening to the concert were going to put on in a few days will improve the quality of your consorts liturgical music by literally immeasurable amounts  
TG: and when a witch of space says something is literally immeasurable you know its serious business mister  
TG: endquote  
TG: oh wait sorry  
TG: <3 <3 <3 then endquote  
TG: cant forget the love   
EB: well you can tell jade that her subtle insults to my intelligence and status as an awesome and considerate friendleader did not go unnoticed.  
EB: but i'll come over anyway because there is never a wrong time for music.  
EB: and anything that might improve those hymns sounds like a good idea to me.   
TG: word  
TG: and on that note  
TG: i suggest you blow your current popsicle stand and deus yourself up a machina in the form of a piano   
EB: dave sprite!  
EB: that is a bad joke and you should feel bad.   
TG: like i care about joke quality clown shits your territory not mine  
TG: and speaking of territory were in the third starboard ballroom, next to nannasprites kitchen  
TG: follow the antiphonal chanting

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

EB: dave sprite!!!  
EB: ...  
EB: vengeance will be mine.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Literal Interpretation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8265364) by [Hananobira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hananobira/pseuds/Hananobira), [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong)




End file.
